Goodbye Doesn't Have To Mean The End
by WordsOfASong
Summary: Michael Moscovitz' POV reaction to Kenny/Mia. "I can't even think about what this 'good-bye' is supposed to mean. Good-bye to the love we never shared or good-bye for now, I'll never know." Rated T for minor language and suggestive themes. Reviews?


**Disclaimer: **I, LiveLaughLovePotter, promise that I do not intend to violate any copyright rules. Meg Cabot is one of my favorite authors, and I would never want to offend her. Some dialogue is used from the book, _Princess in the Spotlight_, and I switch Mia's point of view to Michael's.

**Author's Note: **I want to thank _you_, yes, you. Thank you for taking the time to read my very first _Princess Diaries _fanfiction. This is a first for me, as I've always written _Harry Potter _fanfiction. So, I hope you enjoy this little taste! Without further a-do, here is the scene in which Kenny reveals that he is Mia's secret admirer in Michael's Point Of View. 

"Anyway," Kenny said. "You want to go out sometime, Mia? With me, I mean?"

***Cue Rewind Noise*** Wait, hold on just one minute. WHAT? Kenny… Mia… What's going on? Where the hell did this come from? Let's go back in time a little.

I glance around at my fellow members of the Computer Club, all clad in gory World War II army attire: fake blood, phony limb stumps, pretend broken legs, unnecessary crutches. The costumes were my idea; what's scarier than blood and gore and can better represent the human struggles through times of war? Lilly wears a skimpy black dress, if you could call it a dress, covered in lace and a beard to match. The Freudian slip? Personally, I believe it was just an attempt to impress Mia's cousin Hank. How she got that costume past the parental units… the beard had to be distracting enough to guide our parents' eyes away from her dress. Boris is Al Capone, well, at least that's who he's trying to be. The violin case isn't doing him any good.

Slightly bouncing on my heels, I stand in line with these crazy people I call my friends for the Rocky Horror Picture Show. When's Mia going to show up? Is she going to be able to escape her 'family obligation' in time for the show? If she doesn't show up, this whole costume is a waste. It took me a whole 2 hours to put this bloody scene together; normally, I'm ready for school in twenty minutes – and that's including a shower and shave. I wonder what Mia would dress as, as if she'd have time to prepare. Probably Buffy the Vampire Slayer… or Xena. That'd be my dream come true.

A limo skids to a stop in front of our crowd, and Lars climbs out with Mia in tow.

"Oh, my God! You came! You came!" someone, namely Lilly, shrieks.

Honestly, I do not hear Lilly; I probably wouldn't even if she was crying in my head. Mia looks so.. she looks so.. so… shit, I can't find the word. And the student body calls me co-valedictorian, _bullshit. _

I approach Lars, with intestines spilling out of my Army jacket, and say, "Quick, get in line. I got two extra tickets just in case you ended up making it after all." Do I sound too desperate, too relieved that Mia made it in time? Someone please tell me that I don't sound too longing to reach behind her to the inside back of her ball gown and…

People dressed in ridiculous costumes grumble behind us as Mia and Lars push their way into line with us. Lars flashes his shoulder holster, and they shut right up.

"Where's Hank?" Lilly asks. I, being the brother of this girl with a personality disorder, am the only one who detects the longing in her voice. I just hope she hasn't heard mine.

"He couldn't make it." Mia stated, but I know there is more to it than that.

"He cannot come. Good." Boris grunts in his thick Russian accent. I stifle a laugh as Lilly stares at him and points a finger at Mia, asking her what she's supposed to be.

Glinda the Good Witch… can Lilly be any thicker?

Mia confirms my assumption and I can't help myself, "You look really…" Michael, you stuttering fool, spit it out! "You look really…" BEAUTIFUL. Mia, you are BEAUTIFUL. It's as if I have the vocabulary of a third grader.

Mia's brightened face seems to dull slightly… or maybe it's just my wishful thinking. There's nothing stopping me from confessing my undying love and affection, but I just can't get it out in the open.

"You are way too glam for Halloween," Lilly declares. Since when was she the princess of fashion and style?

Mia asks what Lilly is supposed to be. Hello? Can't you see, Mia? She's a prostitute who's too busy hooking up for cash to wax her beard or buy new clothes. Lilly responds that she is, indeed, a Freudian slip.

"And I am Al Capone: Chicago gangster," Poor Boris. When will you ever learn?

"Good for you, Boris," Mia replies as she eyes the sweater he wears. Yes, it's tucked into his pants. I find it amusing how it's not his violin during G & T that irritates her the most; it's the tucked in sweater.

"You made it!" Kenny cries. What? No, why is he so excited to see her? This isn't possible…

The line begins to inch forward, and the Computer Club starts with a "Hut, two, three, four. Hut, two, three, four." Sometimes we wonder _why _we're at the bottom of the social ladder…

Upon entering the movie theater, I feel myself staying closer to Mia. It's not like I plan to, I mean, it's like an automatic gravitational pull of the earth's force field – otherwise known as, fate. However, I can't help but notice Kenny. He pushes Lars aside, which is hard to picture, considering he's as skinny as a toothpick, and Lars is as big as a truck. So, he pretty much squeezes in between Lars and the movie seats in front of him to grab a space on Mia's other side. It's official… Kenny Showalter is in love with Mia Thermopolis. Poor Thermopolis, she has so many issues. She's got her mom and her _algebra teacher_ hooking up, finding out she's a princess of a small European country (population 50,000), receiving princess lessons from her 'evil' grandmother, discovering that her _algebra teacher _just knocked up her mother so she's no longer going to be an only child, and she's barely scraping a D in algebra even though the teacher is her _stepfather. _Now, she's got two boys falling for her, and she doesn't even see it.

Mia seems to notice, about time, that Lars isn't seated on her other side. Kenny attempts to engage in conversation about _biology class – _really… who does that? – but Mia answers with a vacant look in her eye. What's she thinking about?

As the movie progresses, I remember that Rocky Horror isn't a scary movie. So that leaves me with no reason to put my arm around Mia. It's not like I can't, I mean, I could if I wanted to… it would just be awkward for her… maybe. I don't put my arm around her, but so what? Two hours in a dark movie theater while laughing and stealing looks at her to see if she's laughing too is all that I need. The only spoiler? It's obvious Kenny's doing the same thing.

Our crowd walks to Round the Clock after the movie for breakfast, and I resist the urge to hold Mia's hand on the way. I notice Lars gulp cups of coffee after the other… kind of like chain-smoking, except with coffee. I find a seat on the table next to Mia, and notice that Kenny has her other side again. I pretend that I don't see Kenny whisper something into Mia's ear, and I also pretend that I don't see her eyes widen in shock like something obvious had finally hit her. I can't help but see the quickest look of despair before she plasters a forceful smile upon her face. I stare across the diner, hoping that I can block out their conversation. From a simple gut feeling, I know there's nothing good to come of it.

My ears snap back into senses when I hear, "Anyway, you want to go out sometime, Mia? With me, I mean?"

And this is where I am now. Oh, fucking shit. No, Mia, no. Just say no. I love you. I love you. I can't say it, but I do. Remember that time I played _Tall Glass of Water_? Why are you so thick? Mia, don't do this. Don't do this. I know I've spent too much time thinking of when and how to tell you, but give me a while. Please. God damn it, I wish I could say something… anything.

I press my temples and stare at the red cushioned stools along the counter of the register, trying not to hear anything else. I feel something jostle against my arm, hoping Mia finally realizes what I've been trying to tell her all along. I turn my head, and I see a blur of Kenny Showalter's arm around Mia's shoulders before I give Lars a look as if to say _whatever is going on needs to stop, because I am in love with this girl, and you know it. _It's a good thing I have Lars to confide in, otherwise my heart could explode with lack of output. Not logically, of course.

With my head spinning, I stand up, "Well, I'm beat. What do you say we call it a night?" Sure I get looks as if though I'm insane, but if I sit another minute next to the newly loving couple, fists are going to fly.

"What's with you, Michael? Got to catch up on your beauty sleep?" I ignore Lilly's comment and reach for my wallet from the back pocket of my bloody camouflage khakis. I just finish counting out my share as Mia stands suddenly and states that she's tired as well and tells Lars to call the car. Lars might look grateful for an early return home, but questions race through my brain. Why is she so eager to leave Kenny without a kiss goodnight? Why isn't she staying with Kenny? Did she come for the show just for me? The first two questions sound somewhat reasonable, but I know I'm out of my league with the third.

"It's a shame you have to go so early? So, Mia, can I call you?" Lame, Kenny, just plain lame. Toughen up and get some confidence, kid. Maybe those words should be directed towards me, but I have always been a little bit of a hypocrite.

Whatever I might think of Kenny's lameness, it catches Lilly's attention. I see her glance from Mia to Kenny to back at Mia, and then at me. I've always wondered if she suspected me with my love for Mia as I suspect her's for Hank.

"Come on, Al. Let's blow this juke joint," Lilly says.

"What is a juke joint? And why are we blowing it?" A typical Boris Pelowski answer.

As everyone digs for cash, I notice Mia tell Lars that she didn't bring any with her. Before I can even think about offering, Kenny is pulling out a bunch of dollar bills to pay for her pancakes and Lars' five cups of caffeine. When Mia says, "Thank you very much," I can only assume that she's pleased to have a boyfriend who pays for her, even though her family's got three hundred million bucks.

Lars stuffs a twenty in my hand for the tickets, but I stuff it right back in his. How embarrassing. I can't take Mia's money, especially since she's got a new hubby. "Oh, no. My treat," I say. Mia resists, but finally gives in with a princess-like reply of "Well, thank you very much, Michael." At least she let me pay.

Some of us need rides home and climb into Mia's limo. I wait for my turn to get in and see Mia next to me. Okay, maybe I didn't just see her. I think the better way to phrase this is that I fell in love all over again. My chance to finally say something…

"What I meant to say before, Mia, was that you look really… you look really…" The pink and blue light from the Round the Clock sign shines down upon her made-up face; I don't think I've ever seen her wear make-up other than that one time she dropped her books outside the girls locker room and was smothered in lipstick. Here she is, standing in a beautiful pale pink ball gown, with delicate rosettes donning the sleeves on her gentle shoulders. And here I stand, in an Army jacket with fake intestines hanging out. I'm such an idiot; I can't even form words. She's looking up at me with a look of – what is it – admiration? Love? Desire? No, I'm wishfully thinking.

"You look really nice in that dress," I blurt, and am immediately embarrassed. Nice. That's all I can think of? I have the second highest fucking GPA in the school and all I can think of is 'nice'? What's the use of being so damn intellectual, when you can't face to apply it in common life situations?

"Are you guys coming or what?" Kenny whines from the sun roof. At a time like this, I have to thank the kid. I can't wait to escape the shame.

Mia and I walk into the limo, and she keeps a vacant look on her face as Kenny tries to engage in a conversation with her. The limo driver stops to drop off person by person to their houses. Finally, Kenny is thrown out of, I mean, delivered to his house by the limo. With Lilly in the limo as well, there isn't much I can say to Mia without Lilly psychoanalyzing me as soon as we walk into the apartment. There isn't a lot of chatter between them either. _Hmph_, and I had thought that Lilly would have been psychoanalyzing _Mia _about the whole Kenny ordeal. The limo reaches 5th street, and Lilly and I climb out of the limo.

"See you tomorrow, Lilly. Good-bye, Michael," she smiles at me.

I can't even think about what this "good-bye" is supposed to mean. Good-bye to the love we never shared or good-bye for now, I'll never know. The limo door shuts behind us as we say our own goodnights.

"I'm sorry," Lilly says, and she walks ahead of me into our apartment.

"Don't be; this isn't the end," I whisper to myself.

**Author's Note: **That's it for this little one-shot. I really hope you enjoyed it just as much as I enjoyed writing it! I feel as though words kind of flowed out of my head for this one. I'll probably write more Michael/Mia, since I'm in the middle of re-reading the series now.

PLEASE review; it honestly means the world to me that I can hear from you guys and incorporate your suggestions and advice into future writings. Thank you!

Lots of love,

LiveLaughLovePotter


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